it week7,
and time is flying past like its g0ing f0r the GSS.

tml is 0op.

and i finally kn0w h0w much i suck at
WAD
IADP.

n0pe,
seeing me t0 be the first t0 leave the test venue d0esn't mean that i am d0ne with the test.
its 0nly means that i dunn0 h0w t0 d0,
0r i simply g0t n0 m0od t0 d0 it.



week8,
let r0ll.




dun think.
cause.
il0vey0u,
y0ul0veme.
y0uhateme,
il0vey0u.
simple.
(:

10:10 PM
a new page, a new chapter

im s0rry.

f0r?

falling asleep while talking t0 her.
n0t 1 time, but 2.

ha.

im awake f0r 15 h0urs f0r t0day.
and im sleeping at the living r0om again.

tml WAD test.
..
i think.
ah.
f0rget it -.-

g0od luck t0 my class.
and dun pull y0ur hair tml.
ha.

12:55 AM
a new page, a new chapter

im settling s0mething maj0r tml.




i remember telling a pers0n in class this 0ne sentence.
"y0u lighted the candle, s0 its 0nly waiting t0 be burnt 0ut"

as i update this bl0g,
im thinking.

thinking ab0ut s0me stuffs that happened.
h0w i met this particular pers0n.
h0w i fell int0 the river with this particular pers0n.
h0w i always stand by this particular pers0n.





if life is a gamble.
im g0nna take a gamble.



i admit;
i did c0untless numbers ever since f0r this particular pers0n.
and i admit;
i start d0ing the numbers ever since this particularr left me al0ne f0r that sh0rt while.





but l0oks like this river is that big.
its s0 big until y0u cann0t miss it.



ever th0ught 0f g0ing t0 sch0ol,
sitting in a c0rner,
then a pers0n c0mes and acc0mpany y0u ?


s0me pe0ple might get what i mean.



i never wanted t0 leave y0u fr0m the start.
0r m0re0ver,
i didn't want t0 try leaving y0u.
even when i tried t0 turn int0 a devil,
trying s0 hard t0 make y0u hate me.
y0u didn't.



thats all i needed.



lets end this tiny little chess.
im g0nna c0ntiune with the 0rignal chess game.
im g0nna try and put back the piece t0 where they were 0nce bef0re.




lets d0 it.
number 20 is 0n its way.
and i pr0mise.
its g0nna be the final c0unt d0wn.

8:36 PM
a new page, a new chapter

the past tw0 w0rking days are.

hell.

sh0rtage 0f staffs.
t0o much w0rk.

..

i suddenly felt that this job is n0t f0r humans.
ha-




tml is BPO test,
0r it can be c0unted as t0day.
and theres this jap test.


s0 i guess i w0uld be sleeping any early t0night.
and i need a bath,
and i need dinner.

i dun need the fumes i guess,
cause im 0nly left with number 1.
and im g0nna use number 1 tml.



s0 dun be t0o sh0cked if im missing during break time.
ha -

g0od luck t0 my class f0r tml test.
and g0od night (:

12:04 AM
a new page, a new chapter

Dear Mum,


im s0rry t0 let y0u kn0w ab0ut the fact i have been d0ing n0wadays.
in fact , f0r the past few m0nths.


i always th0ught 0f myself as a g0od b0y,
wh0 listen and 0beys.

but n0w,
i cann0t s0lve my 0wn pr0blems,
cann0t think 0f any s0luti0ns.

i am l0st in a T intersecti0n.
dunn0 which way t0 turn.

and im falling behind in sch0ol.
im tired 0f having t0 d0 s0me stuffs.

n0w,
im just an0ther useless b0y,
carry burdens 0n my 0wn back.
n0t even trying t0 c0nfine in anyb0dy.

im s0rry,







deeply.









if 0nly my mum can read english.



im feeling restless and tired.
im having aches all 0ver me.

and h0w i wish a car can just ram 0ver me and let me die.
simply because life is s0 hard t0 take.

s0meb0dy,
anyb0dy.


please guide my way.
back t0 where i bel0nged.






i watch smallville this m0rning.
"life will find a balance"
"even if y0u are able t0 amend this, s0mething else will still happen"

if i had the crystal.
i w0uld g0 back,
and amend things i sh0uld have just left there.
and c0ntiune with life.

10:55 AM
a new page, a new chapter

i have t0ns 0f pain in m b0dy right n0w,


lets list it d0wn.


head
: t0o much thinking + REDs.

hands
: cracking fr0m pain and weight.

legs
:kn0cked my knee against the chair.

t0es
:its s0rt 0f "stucked" f0r a min.

neck
:pill0w t0o flat.

s0rethr0at
:t0o much choc0s.



and theres 0ne m0re final 1.
nah,
lets just leave it.




finally,
a n0rmal day.

time f0r friday.
a day f0r IADP,
Software,
c#.







lets zzz ~

12:23 AM
a new page, a new chapter

here i am,
waiting f0r my cl0thes t0 was finish.

its an0ther 0f th0se,
i y0u,
him her,
mr miss,
days.

i passed my BTT this m0rning.
and i applied f0r the FTT 0n july.

and interestingly.
i spent t0ns 0f bucks t0day 0n f0od and entertainment.
s0 i guess im g0nna be a bit br0ke this week.

my eyes are cl0sing s0on.
but the washing time is still left with 11 mins.

my bud just br0ke up with his gf.
that his part 0f sad st0ry.

and things are getting c0mplicated.
im just g0nna sit back and slack.




the executive way.

1:34 AM
a new page, a new chapter

im tired after l0oking at the wh0le b0ok f0r BTT.

i want t0 sleep.

g0od night.

12:38 AM
a new page, a new chapter

its like a w0lf crying 0ut t0 the m0on,
a star hiding behind the cl0uds.

seems likes a leaf dangling 0n a tree,
the fl0wer petals hanging.

feels like a piece 0f glass shattering,
a a brick hitting 0n the t0e.

as the skies turn,
as the cl0ud pass,
as the m0on rev0lves.

all i c0uld d0,







all i ever knew,






carry th0se stuffs.
what an awful day at scho0l.
l0oks like im still t0o y0ung.

7:00 PM
a new page, a new chapter

0k, i f0und s0mething m0re addictive then s0me things i have been d0ing.

i c0nsider it the next stage 0f addicti0n.

m0re w0rse then anything.

th0se little lights aren't g0od en0ugh t0 destress.
i f0und the current thing im d0ing is much m0re better,
and has m0re kick.

what is it?
im scared the the p0lice might just check me 0ne day and bring me t0 the stati0n..























this.
the name 0f it is there,
s0 i need t0 say n0 m0re


but wait.
g0od things c0me in pairs.
s0,





...
i need a sp0on n0w.
(:

1:29 AM
a new page, a new chapter

is the w0rlding spinning ?

maybe it is .
because time passed like ... fast.

week5.

IADP.
SE.
C#.

JAP.

thats all i can[n0t] think n0w.

-
life is c0mplicated.
life is hard.

undertanding is n0t needed between pe0ple.
acceptance is what is m0st imp0rtant.



"i want t0 live like calvin, being with h0bbe. like this w0rld 0nly c0nsist 0f us.
facing h0mew0rk and having a mum and dad nagging me.
having a t0y that c0mes t0 life at night and acc0mpanies me t0 sleep."

thats all a dream.

11:38 PM
a new page, a new chapter

in the midst 0f trying t0 figure 0ut what tml's test i g0ing t0 be ab0ut.

i t0t.

1: whats the chapter f0r the test.
2:MCQ, SAQ ?
3:Supper.



...
well,
i'll just eat a fish tml.
maybe a healthy b0iled 0ne will d0.
(:

1:06 AM
a new page, a new chapter

i bl0g t0 inf0rm myself 0f w0nderful news.

my h0use has a new member.

its name is
:sharp.


A TV.








w0w.
i w0nder h0w l0ng this tv and tahan under the t0rture 0f vietnam high pitch s0ngs and blasting 0f l0cal tv drama.



g0od night ~

12:24 AM
a new page, a new chapter

in response t0 a pers0n trying t0 is0late.

im g0nna c0py y0ur style.


 


 

understand?

g0 hug y0ur garfield.

10:31 PM
a new page, a new chapter

0k,
i changed the c0rrect name lia0 , miss Pauline.
-.-



ytd night was a ...
super.


t0o super.
...



i went t0 the w0rkplace with at least 40 b0oks 0f c0mics.
then i wasn't expecting a car t0 sent me h0me.

s0,
there were 3 guys and 1 girl in the car,
then we were travelling like 60km/h.
because the driver wanted t0 send the girl h0me safely.

after we send the girl back.
s0mething maj0r happen.



suddenly,
the wind screens r0lled d0wn,
sm0kes appeared.

the tiny little JB car r0ared.
practically.
...

0k,
s0 i guess i haben been sitting in a tiny car travelling at 120km/h.
s0 its "g0t kick".

then,
when y0u have a car and a driver with a sm0ke.
what will y0u end up with?

battling pick-ups with 0ther drivers at traffic light.
imagine.

s0meb0dy driving a t0y0ta c0r0lla.
r0lled d0wn his wind screen and tells y0u t0 start after 5 sec0nds.
w0oh0o.

reminds me 0f the passing thru 2 l0rries during the game in the afterno0n.


BUT WAIT.
theres m0re.

we f0und a scropion in the w0rkplace t0day.
s0 the frd 0f mine wants t0 bring it h0me.

it was put in a plastic b0x with alumium f0il c0vering it.
we went t0 have c0ffee chit chat sessi0n f0r ar0und 1 h0ur.
then when we came back, the scrp was GONE.

yesh its in the CAR.
we search until ar0und 130 am and i t0ld them t0 drive t0 my h0use first.
its 0nli5 mins -.-

then they started t0 take 0ut the seats and anything that is .. rem0vable.
...
but stil n0 sign.

i did number 7 that night.
cause it was really b0ring and i can't help anyway.
haha-


but in the end they decided t0 risk their life and g0 back t0 JB.
ha.



m0ral 0f a st0ry.
2 m'sia and 1 sg guys.
=
t0tal hav0c and speed.

140km! when can i d0 it ?

12:49 PM
a new page, a new chapter

i give a s0luti0n t0 all the p0rblems.




12:42 AM
a new page, a new chapter

11:51 PM
a new page, a new chapter

in midst 0f msn c0nversati0ns
[which 0nly g0t 2 ]

i was watching the final fantasy 7 : Advent children.
and Bleach .



b0ring and humid night.
im listening t0 pe0ple's st0ry.
im w0ndering ab0ut my 0wn.

heard that a sh0w is g0nna start.
i want the fr0nt r0w seat.



arh.
wh0 cares.
my BTT is c0ming -.-
23 may -.- l0l -

11:52 PM
a new page, a new chapter

ok -

i didn't w0rk t0day ~
because i knew pay day came and i will g0 0ut and have fun.


headed t0 0rchard this aftern0on.
wanted t0 walk ar0und but ended up playing p0ol instead.

..
damn the bdae b0y [ yi ch0ng ] -.-


after the yc g0ne 0ff t0 meet his gf t0 cr8 a new life. [ l0l ]
met up with the l0ng l0st z0mbie f0rm singap0re.
mr TSL.

then what we did ?
we had dinner.
what we had f0r dinner ?


...
this.
 
whats all this ?

it fr0m viv0 city de h0ng k0ng kim and gary restaurant.
whats the t0tal damage fr0m this meal?
$56.65.

..
l0ng and ha0 ate the steak -.-
0ne is rare, the 0ther medium well.

rare = bl0od -.-

i ate the jam and peanut butter t0asted bread ! .
wah ka0s !
its damn thick .
if i eat 0ne f0r breakfast everyday,
i think i can skip lunch -.-

after the bread,
Supreme steak curry baked with swiss chesse and rich.
l0ng name eh ?
-.-

0ver all 0k la.
but the steak cann0t be eaten rare.
l0l-

btw,
saw cheryl w0rking at her "wareh0use".

then ha0 say that g0 in and see see l0ok l0ok.
and the sh0p was f0r w0men -.-

...
cheryl st0od at the very end 0f the sh0p.
s0 we went pass the cashier and they were l0oking at us like. "WT?"

l0l -


i did buy back things.
esp the new creative Zen st0ne.
l0l-

its a steal.
2 Zen st0ne  = 1 ip0d shuffle.
-.-

anyway,
the pic f0r the pasta meal is here.
 
l0l-
i want t0 sleep.
g0od night ~

12:44 AM
a new page, a new chapter

i returned h0me at ar0und 4 am last night.


why?
spiderman three.

h0wever;
the sh0w was quite a letd0wn.
maybe its because the st0ry is t0o l0ng bwt M.J and P.P


i was yawning all the way,
and 0nly until i heard the fighting part then i w0ke.


..

i left fr0m class ASAP,
because all my w0rkplace friends were waiting at the audi.

t0ok the mrt t0 P.s.
and saw the time listing.

...
w0w,
only the 12:45 sh0w was avaliable.
...

ate dinner at Pastamania.
l0l-
$37 .. f0r 2 pers0n.

then went t0 b.k.
dessert.
ice cream.

then,
Mc cafe f0r refreshments -.-

i c0uldn't upl0ad the ph0tos because i l0st the cardreader.



w0rk again ~

final n0te.
[yar, the ph0ne hates me t0 the c0re]

-.- ....

11:12 AM
a new page, a new chapter

im updating because i kn0w that s0me pe0ple are actually reading this link.

s0 i thank th0se pe0ple.



.
i f0und 0ut that my life is ..
lifeless.

but yet.
n0t THAT lifeless.

tuesday i w0rk f0rm 10 am to 3 and head 0ver t0 sch0ol.
then wednesday n0 sch0ol s0 i w0rk 10am to 11pm.

thursday,
i didn't intend t0 w0rk 0n tuesday,
but since im s0 free f0r n0w,
i w0rk.

then week ends are g0ne w0rking.


maybe y0u hit it right,
i feel m0re attached t0 the w0rkplace then sch0ol.
n0t that studies d0n't interest me.

but the c0nnecti0n bwt the pe0ple there is much ..
warming.

i c0nclude that,
c0mmon g0als help make pe0ple b0nd bec0me better.
under the same r0of,
same unif0rm,
and same j0b.

pe0ple t0gether much m0re easily.
the care and c0ncern there is much m0re better.

ah nvm.
my pay's n0t in yet.
and my specs is realli g0nna break d0wn s0on.
the tape w0uldn't last l0ng.

and i wish t0 sleep,
i f0rced myself t0 update s0 that y0u all have things t0 read when y0u click 0n this link.
ha-



g0ood night ~










and g0od m0rning t0 th0se reading this in clss (:

1:06 AM
a new page, a new chapter

wednesday,

full shift.












my specs br0ke,
...




pay day is c0ming, but,


...
specs.



...




...

11:16 PM
a new page, a new chapter